Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Maceo's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 16th, 2022
4:39 pm	Women and life Well, I tell ya'. I made the mistake of getting together with someone in the cast of the current show that I'm in. I've made it a rule over the years to avoid this scenario because it never, ever works out. It usually just winds up ending with someone getting hurt. In this case, it's me! Unbelievable! I'm not the most trusting person in the world when it comes to dating. Past experience has cemented that. But, overall, I'm a open minded person. And that leads to trouble... So, me and this girl...young...aargh...have this grrreeeaaat connection. And it's really wierd. How often do you just fall into a natural, easy, chemistry filled relationship? Not often, if you're me. I hate women! So, she seems so at ease and puts me so at ease, that I finally begin to enjoy the inspiration of puppy love. You know? And a couple days later, she's had a change of heart. She's scared because I'm going back to LA and she's going to New York. And her conscience concerning casual sex kicks in. Well, too late. We've already gone that far. And it was all so intense. And then, of course, there were those vague couple of days where we looked longingly at each other and kissed a few times. And finally, she's staying over last night, and I tell her i don't think that it's right. The in between thing. And I realize that yes, I'll live through it. But, yes, also, I had fallen harder for her than I thought was possible. And it hurt. It hurt to have her get up at 4 in the morning and leave. But, I was lying there being pissed off at what i feel was a betrayal of my trust. She can't help it, of course. But, I can't help but feel like her age (22)...as always!... i don't know. Anyway. It sucks. I'll be fine. But, I'm not trusting any of y'all for awhile. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Wicked - The musical (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 10th, 2004
1:28 pm	Life, Music and the Art or Vegitating Yes...poetic, I know... First, my movie reviews for this week. I see so many, might as well give my two cents. I saw "In America" (A) Oh my god! YOU MUST RENT IT!! ONe of the best last year!!! Also, Van Helsing (B) for action. Thin story line, Cool effects. Godsend (D). Cliche and badly shot and written. Kill Bill II. (B) I enjoyed the first one for the crazy kung fu and action, not the exposition. Vol. 2 failed here a little in my estimation. MAny people disagree. WHat did you guys think of those? I had a good week-end. ANy time I can go down to the beach and get some great sun, and play some good ball is good! I try and take more time to socialize and relax and enjoy the time than I used to when I was a kid. Back then, it was about proving something...and you never lived up to your own expectations (do all guys believe they could have played pro sports?) Ha! But, you age, reality sets in, and there you have it. Because of Mother's Day, and the LAker Game (LAzy bastards!!!!!), there weren't that many people down at the beach. SO, I got a great team, and we just killed everyone all afternoon. THen, we got bored. Ahh...feels good to dominate! I have a choir performance coming up on the 23rd. Complex music and very underehearsed. What else is new? People are so flakey. I can't see how you can put your stamp on something half- assed? I just don't. Or ride everyone else's coat-tails? I guess people believe their shit doesn't stink and don't need the rehearsal. And invariably, they are the ones that... BUt, I'm sure we'll be good. We're all pros, and we'll pull it off. If not, my voice teacher will commit murder. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
9:58 pm	I am boooooored!!!! Wow! Haven't been out of work for such a long time. And feeling so un-motivated to get anything done. I mean, Ragtime took it out of me, but damn....it's been weeks! Heh heh. I've been spending a lot of time with Virginia. It just seems easier to have her staying over etc. Trying not to drive my room-mate Tony crazy...which I think we have a little. But, oh well...I was gone a year, right? There was an audition that I was soooo right for in a new Rock/Musical called the 10 Commandments. Everyone encouraged me to go, but I had an experience recently that reminded me of something: Never go to an audition half cocked! I blew terribly at an important one because I was in the middle of Ragtime and underprepared. I think it's better to make a strong impression every time. And never just wing it. It almost always winds up poorly. So, it's important to ride the momentum and the good vibe I got from the ccommunity in a positive way. Show up strong. So, I'm chillin' 'till I'm back from Virginia. Me and Virginia have been talking about Burning Man. The more I think about it, the more I think it wouldn't be the same without Em, but we may go anyway. I spoke to someone recently who got me intrigued again. Haven't even thought about it for a long time. We'll see how broke we are after New York! Wish me luck! And send some fun energy my way before I fall into a coma!! Current Mood: bored Current Music: James Taylor's October Road (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
2:14 am	What a year! WHata freakin' wonderful and crazy year! I'm still here in LA. Recently got a new agent. Already booked two shows this year: Swing! and Ragtime! Ragtime was a dream, since I was the starring role Colehouse Walker Jr. Best role for a black man in musical theatre! It went great! People were so moved and touched by the show. I got some great feedback from the community and made some great contacts with people who can't wait to work with me! Exciting! I really feel like I did the role justice. I'm proud of what I was able to accomplish. I'll be doing another production in Virginia with Heritage Rep. this summer.Woo hoo! Spaking of Virginia...that's my new girlfriend's name. She's tall (like me). She's smart(like...well) She's pretty (like...) and she's sooo talented (like i try to fake being:> ). We're having a good time. Hope to be with her for a long while. Family is good. All else is good. Catch me on Alias' season finale in a couple of weeks. But don't blink, you may miss me. Look in the CIA building after the big explosion! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Kurt Elling -Man in the Air. Awesome!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
11:28 pm	Wow, what a world! Okay, my world is a wonderful, strange, and taxing thing all at the same time. Lots of things to be thankful for, really. The show is going very well. It's a job. But I have such a great time working for a house of kids that just love us so much, every day! Very gratifying. And the money's great too! :) As I said in the last journal, I made the mistake of dating a crazy woman from my cast. That turned out really wierd, though we left on good terms. Well, since then, I have gotten closer with another woman in my cast. She's spanish and black, and so, so mellow and cool. The complete opposite of several of the um-hmm girls I've dated in the last few years, you know? She's kind, lovely, warm and just enjoys life and being a good person. Haven't seen that in awhile... She's a goody-goody. And that's cool. She is um...catholic...but we'll see how that goes! :) So we've gone out a couple of times. Taking it real slow. But, I think she's a keeper. I'm excited! Haven't been in awhile. Hopefully Em meets her at Jude on Thursday. Hey, are Sarah and Alex coming? And segue to: My new car is great! I cannot be more blessed! Sold the old one and gave all the money to my grandpa, which felt very responsible and gracious. Generally just taking care of things the way they are supposed to be taken care of...right away and on the up and up. Feels really good. I subletted the North Hollywood apt for the summer while I stay at my mom's (who's not here for the summer.) So, saving all that money. Found a great voice teacher who, I think, will get rid of a lot of my bad habits! Yay! Voice has been hurting.... :( And going to the gym five days a week! Woohoo! That feels good! Cardio, diet, the whole bit! (Within realistic reason, of course!) And lastly, did I mention that Matrix Reloaded rocks!!!!! Seen it twice already. Don't forget to sit through the credits for the new preview! 'Revolutions' comes out this December! Yay! Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Gonna pick up Kelly Clakson's new one... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 12th, 2003
1:45 am	The show is on! Couple of things in my life worth mentioning. One- Finally went on in the Aladdin show. Whoo-hoo! Went good. I will be doing Jafar very soon! They loooove my Jafar! But, wouldn't they just?! Apparently there's a web-site...the mouse.com or something...where Aladdin fanatics stalk us for our personal info and share it with each other! I'm gonna check it out. Two- Dating a woman. My age! Can you believe it! No chemistry! She's hiiiiighhh maintenance!! Jeez! "Unh unh...no, my Boo didn't just walk away and leave me behind like that!! See!! It's already startin'! Out goes the gentleman! Inc omes the dog!" and shit like that. All the time! I'm her "boo" and she's "my boo" and we only slept together once. And I didn't want to do that because of the drama I knew it would bring. Now, if I leave the cafeteria earlier than she does (even with our friends still sitting with her)...she get into a little mood. Or will say something. I left as soon as the show was over today without saying anything. And I know that's the end of the world! I don't want a girlfriend like that, y'all. I want my space. A team member, not a needy clinger-on-ner, you know? So other than that, I'll be staying at my mom's house while she's gone for the summer. So, we can all hang there some time...if Em ever comes back down... or meet and go to the beach! Specially since Sarah and Alex only live like 15 minutes away.... Would be cool, hunh? Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Terence Trent D'arby - Various songs (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
12:16 am	Aladdin day three Saw the show today. Finally. Well, my horoscope says to watch my mouth... Needless to say... I'll definately be a great addition to the project! And truly, anyone coming to see it (eh-hem) will laugh and enjoy it. So, I'm excited! Really. Also, I found a car that I'm really interested in. A navy Blue 2000 Accord with only 27,000 miles on it. Spoiler, two door coupe. Woo hoo. I drive it on Saturday! It doesn't have an air-bag which is why it's in my price range! Cool, hunh? I'm so excited. Other than that, I'm tired...and it only gets worse. heh heh. I have a scheduled day from 4pm to 3:30am for rehearsals. How you like that?! (Comment on this)
Friday, March 14th, 2003
2:14 pm	Procrastination and Elation How sad is this? I've had two glorious weeks off from work while I'm waiting to start my new job. I have a zillion things to get done: taxes Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Tonic - Head on Straight (Have you checked these guys out?) (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 8th, 2003
2:24 am	Money, money, money. Money. Is it really worth it? I mean, I'm here to break into film, right? But I keep taking jobs that are comfy and pay the bills. The latest chapter in that saga finds me cast in the new Disney Aladdin spectacular! As an understudy (Jafar) and ensemble member. The money is great though! The commute and four show days will not be! So, I want a new car. Will likely get one. But, is it wise to do so when I know I won't be with this company for very long? Won't be making that steady money very long? Three months, maybe. Enough to last me through the summer and save some dough? Then, it's prayin' and hopin' again. That's alright. Universe took care of me this time. Will again. Always does. I hope to have representation by the fall. Sounds like many an actor's broken record. But on a lighter note. I hung out with some great friends from the cast of Ragtime tonight. Really sweet people who will be good friends for awhile. It's nice to have some connection with the black community here for a change. And a newtwork of succesfull actors to bounce stuff off of both in theatre and in film. And that's it. Things are rosy. I'll let y'all know how Aladdin goes. I can get friends in for free. Woopee. To Disney California! Anyone got a real job out there?!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 14th, 2003
10:14 am	Change is upon us.... To quote one of my favorites, "Days like this I don't know what to do with myself, all day, and all night. I wander the halls along the walls and underneath my breath, I pray to myself, I need fuel to take flight." My day started out with a conversation with my boss. It seems that my wish to have some motivation to move on has been given a boost. The universe really has a sense of humor, you know? Basically, I was passed over for my associate. She had been offered another job that is full time with benefits. Our boss didn't want to lose her....she LOVES THIS JOB!!! I do not. I'm welcome to stay, of course, but I'd have to live with the fact that they only have money for one of us to go full time. So, they gave me no option. I'd rather starve than lose such face like that, and come to this boring ass, low paying job every day knowing she's making twice what I am. Besides, I really did want to leave. Truly. Just been pussy-footin' about. Hard to give up comfort though. So now I can actually start auditioning. Probably get another serving job along with Micheli's. And work toward my big break! Yeh! Perhaps this foggy morning was on my mind during our 2nd preview of Ragtime last night also. Because it went severely downhill once my glasses flew off my face in the middle of that damn double pirouette!!! Aargh. And I thus, got off counts trying to rescue them from under the feet of my cohorts. Sounds like something from that spoof movie...what's it called? Where they're aspiring community theatre actors? Bad ones...? Quite the thrilling day, isn't it? What I learned though, is that real success only comes with real commitment. Real focus. I had very little with this job. And because of this job...and Maria...I didn't have enough to be on point with the show. That changes now! We open tomorrow. In the past, I've always made sure to have two damn near perfect shows in a row before we open. Always. Always. Hasn't happened yet. It will. Current Mood: determined Current Music: Vanessa Carlton's new cd. It's so so. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
11:33 am	"The plays the thing..." I have a great acting teacher. He's really been a great boost to my much needed "balls" as they say here in LA. Heh heh. Don't worry, he cradles them.....but I digress. Seriously though. He suggested that I continue to pursue the stage and that it would give me all my days free to audition and do film work. Funny. Very funny. As if a stage actor can make a living that easily! And oh yeh! In order to do so, you have to be in the union. But wait. You have to rehearse during the day if you are union! Long story short...I am wiped out! All the time. It won't ever get easier. I barely have enough energy for the gym. Is it rewarding enough to justify the fatigue? Hell yes! But then again, when I decided I would do this for a living ten years ago, I didn't care about making money. Life's pretty hard without it though, n'est ce pas? So, we had our first audience last night. I learn more every show. It is a killer! The most involved I've been in awhile with having to learn a complex musical score and hit all those marks on stage all over the place. Phew! I have a couple of key moments which is nice. Nailing that double pirouette! Woohoo! And I'm learning a lot from watching and talking to the lead who plays Coalhouse. Research for when I do it down the road. What a joker! He is a nut, all the time! But, what conviction he gives to the role! He played the part on Broadway behind the original Coalhouse. He also invented my role in the show! So, he's had some interesting input. Always a fine line there when you want advice from the creator, but don't want to lose your sense of self. I mean, I have all this training. I've played all these leads. And I still can feel like a dork approaching my three or four lines! That's showbiz! Ha! Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Tori Amos - Scarlett's Walk - Very Good! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
10:32 am	Will we all sound this green and hokey on our first entry? Hello all of you millions of people who will be viewing this journal! When I first heard about this thing, I was skeptical, to say the least. I don't always look at broadcasting anything personal about myself with bubbly anticipation. But, reading Em's journal helped me to see that these entries are a release. A source of expression. Like therapy. And don't we all need a little therapy in these crazy times?....these crazy times. That's my theme for the day. In brief: heh heh....in brief: I am now 30 years old. I own no property, have an old, dying car, no love-life, no agent, very little sobriety, and almost no money in the bank! So how do I feel? Pretty great right now! I feel very excited! With positively renewed energy about my life, my career and my prospects for the year! I worry about the up-coming war, yes! And about how unconcerned everyone around me seems to be about the environment, yes! But, I'm alive. I'm sane. I'm doing what I love. I'm working...pretty hard...on getting better at it. And I'm single! So, the sky's the limit. And I feel great. And feel great things on the near horizon for me. God's has and continues to take care of me in ways I'll never feel completely worthy of. My job now, is to make sure I'm fulfilling my side of the bargain as much as possible. And that means striving to be a better human being, a better friend, less self-centered,and more concerned with leaving things in every situation, better than when I arrived. Did that make sense? That's my work for the year. And that's me right now. (2 Comments |Comment on this)